I always felt that this "one thing" would be the answer. This one cleanse, this one supplement, this one (God Help Me On This One) -- Person. That if I could just get there on this one thing, that I would healed. I would be safe. I would have arrived at my destination. But that's not the case. I have arrived many times. I have done the cleanse, taken the supplement, and hung with the people. I arrived at the destination but didn't hang out long enough to see what it took to make it a permanent space for me. Most of us don't. Most of us feel that once we have lost the weight, healed the condition, and mended a relationship that we can go back to who we were, what we were doing, and how we were living. That's not how it works.
This is why diets don't work. This is why supplements don't work. And this is why therapy, although it has its benefits, don't always work. The commitment to STAY, to understand that the healing process is in fact a process that never ends. I have looked into many ways of eating to heal the autoimmunity that plagues my body. I have never quit looking for solutions. But I am also someone that cannot, does not, tolerate discomfort very much. So when the diet gets hard, when my skin and gut react or seem to have a set back, I make changes. I look for another destination to hang out. I'll find comfort in that and hang for a bit, but as soon as the discomfort settles in again, I'm looking for a new destination. I think it's ok to always be on the lookout for healthful solutions. But to understand that there will be challenges along the way. Rocky roads. Setbacks both physically and mentally is what helps us to stay.
You really have to understand that health is not the final destination. You hear all the time "as long as you have your health." Health is something that we live daily even if we lack the final destination. It's a state of mind. And just like a healthy relationship with others, it takes attention to your symptoms. It takes perseverance when things feel off. And it takes time to explore, to feel. It takes staying.
I've been to many destinations in my life only to not like the view, the person, the job, the sensation. And I've left. Because I struggle with discomfort, I left. Leaving myself is no longer an option. There are parts of me that I have failed to acknowledge and failed to stay with. If you're lucky enough, it will blow up in your face. Force you to stop. You will have arrived at a destination where although there is discomfort, you stay. You stay because you are not yet aware of the glorious views that are there for you to see, feel, experience. You stay because you understand that the destination is never final, but it's what you pick up along the journey that has mattered all along.